The Fish Incident

Yesterday was an interesting day. I got to see an example of people at their best and unfortunately people at their worst, all in the space of a single afternoon.

We were at the lake, my in-laws, the kids and me, and a woman with what seemed to be a hundred little girls of various ages. My daughter, being the little butterfly that she is, right away made friends. MM (my daughter) is four and the youngest girl there had to be at least five or six.

The first thing to tip me off that these might not be the most angelic group of children was that they asked MM if they could borrow her shovel...and then her pail...and a couple more shovels...a strainer...pretty soon they had taken every toy that we'd brought to the beach. Not one of them thought to give MM something to play with even though they were her toys. I said nothing and let her deal. I got slightly annoyed when Gus went to use our watering can (probably to help the girls who were playing with it, by the way) and one of the girls shooed him away because they were playing with it. It's his watering can! I screamed internally, but still I kept my mouth shut. I can't get involved in everything my kids are experiencing; they have to learn to speak up for themselves.

Later in the afternoon as I was in the water with Gus, there was a sudden disturbance on the shore. Apparently the girls caught a fish. It's a pretty typical thing for the kids to do, so I didn't think anything of it at first. MM ran out of the water to see what her new friends were up to.

At first when I looked up, I thought they were carrying the fish around by a fin. This would have been disturbing enough, but then I got a better look: the poor thing had a stick jutting in one gill and out the other. I pointed this out to the lifeguard who went to rescue the poor thing's body before it could be further defiled. Apparently the girls were about to poke its eyes out.

I have to say that I am incredibly proud of my daughter, and I told her so. She didn't like what she saw, and she spoke up. She told her new, older, gang of friends that what they were doing was not nice. And there were real tears glistening off her cheeks when she saw that the fish had been bleeding. My daughter may be a lot of things, but she has a truly compassionate heart, and the courage to stand up and speak out against what she feels is unjust.

Part of her character is undoubtedly just her personality, but I think part of it may stem from having a brother with special needs. She's come to his defense, even though he's the older, on several occasions. Even when a big bear of a man yelled at Gus one day, she wasn't afraid; she went right to hi and in her most polite and endearing voice, apologized for what her brother did, and the man felt about two inches tall for picking on a little kid.

When MM does something inappropriate, I check her immediately. No, you can't listen to loud music when someone is sleeping - you wouldn't like if they did it to you. No, you are not allowed to put your hands on your hips and glare at mommy when you're angry at me. No, you don't get your way by having a hissy-fit, you suck it up when you can't have something, and maybe if you behave well enough that might change. I would have never in a million years sat by and watched her harm an innocent animal.

This brings me back to my original thought. The little girls at the beach were not being very nice, sugar-and-spice little girls. But I don't blame them. They were not alone; they had a "responsible" adult supervising them (if you want to call it that). But the woman said nothing. she sat and watched them torture this poor creature whose worst crime was probably chasing after a pretzel thrown in the water.

I am constantly amazed at people who complain about how rotten kids have become over the past couple of generations. Well hell! It's not their fault! No one wants to discipline or be the bad guy; no one wants to be the one to say "no" to their kids. "Empower them!" parents have been told. "Raise their self esteem!" But this has gone far beyond the intended limit, I fear. Because we've got a generation of kids who can't cope with losing, who can't take correction or criticism, and who have a sad deficiency of empathy. And no, it's not all kids. I think finally parents are starting to see how maybe the loosey-goosey style of parenting may have some flaws. Unfortunately, there are still an awful lot of parents who think the word "no" should be taboo. My daughter was crying over the cruelty of those little girls, and their "mother" (she was someone's mother if not everyone's) couldn't be bothered to say, "No. Stop. That's wrong." She left that up to a four year old.

Back to School Shopping

First, I have to say to chain stores like Walmart and Target: Would you PLEASE stop stocking your racks and shelves a season ahead?

What ever happened to the days when back-to-school shopping was done at the end of August, just before, oh, I don't know, when school started? This year I started seeing school supplies the first week of August. My son hadn't even finished summer school; who the hell was thinking about September? We were just getting into the swing of summer!

Anyway, we went and did our supply shopping today because Gus goes back next week. It went well for the most part, but it was also frustrating. I've got pants, sneakers, supplies and even boots for the kids. Why, can someone tell me, can I not find long-sleeved t-shirts? I even found sweaters for MM, but no shirts. Two stores! I found one shirt for MM and one button-down for Gus. But boots and sweaters. I just don't get it.

Don't even get me started on the lunchboxes.

And, I'm sad to say I'll have to make yet another trip because my kids still have no shirts. But I'm guessing by then the winter coats and things will be out. Maybe that was part of the plan. Put half the stuff you need out in the summer, then make you come back in early September to buy the rest at which time you get sucked into preparing for the snowstorm that won't be coming for three months.

Does St. John's Wort work?

I have no idea; I'm only one person, but I think maybe it does.

Last night, my husband, an MSW, needed to do a 'test' evaluation on someone for his job. They were trying out a new assessment tool or something. So he used me as his subject. He called this morning to let me know he'd scored the test and I am apparently severely depressed.

Now, I've known this for months, and actually so has he on some level. I started taking St. John's Wort in May twice a day. It helps somewhat when I remember to take it. You've got to love irony - depression can effect your memory, so I have to remember to take my 'meds', but if I forget, my depression is worse.... If I wasn't in such a crap mood so ofter, I'd find the whole cycle mildly chuckle-worthy.

So we've determined that I should maybe up the dosage to three times a day - just because I often forget to take the pill twice a day is no reason not to aspire to take it once more. I feel somewhat better when I do take it, less good if I forget a dose, awful if I go a few days without. So I can only assume it's doing something for me.

By the way, I'm fairly certain that my mood swings are hormonal, resulting from estrogen fluctuations. So maybe if I stay on St. John's Wort for the next ten years until I go through menopause, I'll be cured! Hm... perhaps I shouldn't pursue a comedy career until that actually comes to pass.

Yoga Guy Video

I could tell so many stories about inappropriate yoga people in general; I'm sitting here laughing my butt off. In this video, the yoga guy is hitting on women, but what about the inappropriate yogis who are just annoying and can't be bothered to learn basic yoga etiquette? While there are many "Inappropriate Yoga Guys," not all of them are hitting on girls; some of them are just too loud, too raucous, too obnoxious, and not always men.

Of course there has to be some kind of concession made for the newcomer - he or she might take a few minutes or a few classes to get the subtle hints about behavior. But what about the regular practitioners who are still doing things like talking loudly at the beginning, or worse, during class?

I've been teaching for about five years now and I've seen some...interesting characters. And I should say that I'm not the strictest, most rigid teacher. I like to keep things light because I find that it lends a nicer energy to the class and the practice. But even with that, there have been some moments.

I taught for a long time in a gym, so you can extrapolate whatever you will from that, in and of itself. There was one "Inappropriate Yoga Guy" who I always dreaded seeing because he hit on me every time he came to class. It was to the point that at the end of class, I would make sure that one of the other regulars would hang around and not leave me along with the guy.

It started pretty early in my teaching, too. In the beginning, since my classes were fairly small, I would do manual adjustments on each person during final relaxation. It's a common practice: apply some pressure to the shoulders, give some traction at the head or legs, all in the name of helping the students relax more. Well, that didn't last long. This guy happened to be at a class where I was doing the head-traction thing and suddenly after that, he would request it during every class. Now, I was also pregnant at the time, so the manual adjustments had to stop anyway - the bending was to much for me - but even if I hadn't been, I would have had to stop because, quite frankly, he creeped me out.

This situation went on, on and off, for the four years I worked at that place. He wouldn't show up for a lovely period of months, then out of the wood works, he'd come to class, stand around not doing half the poses (so I'd come and pay some attention to him, which eventually, I stopped doing) and then after class would ask really inappropriate things. The last straw was when he started asking about soul-mates and if I could help him find his. He had the nerve to say this in front of at least two other people who were gobsmacked at his audacity. I responded, less than politely, that I'd found mine and I couldn't help him with that. After that, unprofessional as it may sound, when he would come to class, I would try to pretend he wasn't there for the most part. See, in that environment, there was no one for me to complain to. If it had been a studio, I would have told the owner and he would have been dealt with. But in a gym, the management couldn't care less.

Even where I'm working now, my very first class was during a 'free' week. Two men came to the class, and at the end, sure enough, one of them started asking me if I danced and gave me his number and all this information about a swing-dancing group. This was after I pointed out that, no, my HUSBAND and I don't dance. Insert sigh here.

There have been the guys who just make loud proclamations of an irrelevant nature in the middle of a class, or the guy who loves to show off his headstands, or the woman who has to let everyone in class know about every ailment she's ever had, and by the way, she's getting old and can't do this stuff, or the person who just can never seem to get to class at any other time but during meditation.

The best was the woman who came to class with her two very elderly parents - one who could barely move and the other with sever Alzheimer's - and then left them there in a room full of about thirty-five other people. That one I had to put a stop to for their own safety and the safety of my other students. I mean, honestly, it's not good for anyone to see a person climbing on their spouse's back during Downward Facing Dog.

What do you do if you encounter one of these characters? Talk to the teacher first. If that doesn't work and you're at a studio, go right to the owner - they have the authority to ban people from their studios for refusing to behave. At a gym, members have much more weight than instructors in the eyes of management, so going to the teacher is still a good move, but then you may need to address the complaint to the club manager or the group exercise manager if the club is big enough to have one. I don't recommend getting overly upset (unless the behavior is so out of control, like someone making physical contact) right off the bat. Gentle admonitions can often do the trick - some people really just don't know any better and need a little guidance. Getting angry and calling the perpetrator out in the middle of class though will only serve to ruin your practice and sense of calm, along with everyone else's. If all else fails, set yourself up for deep relaxation, grab and eye pillow and just say OM...and then chuck said eye pillow at the back of the jerk's head. But you didn't hear that from me.

Leave my freakin' drink alone!

This annoys me: when I leave half of my drink on the table and have to get up to do something (I always have to get up from dinner to do something) and I come back to find my drink gone. My husband doesn't usually clear the table (although he does do the dishes), but when he does he has this terrible habit of pouring out the remainder of my drink. What the hell? Leave my drink alone! He leaves drinks sitting all over the place for hours and I don't bother them. Yet it's open season on my beverage if I walk away from it for ten minutes. I feel like I have to be Mad-Eye Moody - constant vigilance!





Is it such a hardship to just ask before pouring something out?



This brings me to another pet peeve - I really can't stand being in a restaurant where the waiters hover, giving the clear impression that you're talking too much or eating too slow and would you please leave now but give me a nice tip even though I'm pushing you out the door.



Anyway, back to the matter at hand: my drink. What makes it worse is that since I've been trying my hardest to wean us all off of unhealthy foods, sugar has been the number one thing to go. So that means we have no sodas or juices or sugary anything liquid in the house. I bought some cold-brew iced tea bags and I've been sweetening them with alternative sweeteners - Agave or Stevia. These sweeteners, because they are all natural, are very expensive. So it adds insult to injury to waste half a glass of a drink sweetened with these products.

Whatever - husbands, you've been put on notice. When you see a drink on the table, leave the damned thing alone unless you've verified and confirmed and gotten orders in triplicate to take them away. Otherwise, you may very well bring on Armageddon.

Ten Ways to Thoroughly Depress Yourself

Start with a dreary day, preferably one that's bitingly cold or oppressively sticky and hot for best results.

Don't bother to put on clothes; stay in your pajamas. I find that if I don't get dressed in the morning, especially when I'm sick, that can pretty much ensure a bout of the blues by midday. Don't dress the kids either if you can avoid it; happy, energetic kids will kill a depression. Better to have them as lethargic as you are.

Have something with loads of sugar as early as possible. That way, you'll have just enough energy to do what you absolutely must - like getting the kids out to school - but then you'll have that lovely sugar crash. The more sugar you've had, the harder it is to bounce back from the crash, so eat accordingly. There's also the added guilt of eating empty calories, but that only works if you've got any internal issues with your weight. If you're happy in your body, don't expect a sugar binge to help you to fix that.

Make sure you have nothing productive to do. I for one only have to leave the house for work a few days a week, so my best days for being down are the days I can stay at home.

Start a blog or create a MySpace, LiveJournal or some other such page, and then friend lock it. But don't invite anyone to come and join with you. That way if you need to add loneliness to your feeling of despair, you can just click on your page and see the glaring lack of interest in, well, you.

Talk to someone you can't stand, or at the very least, someone who will criticize you mercilessly. In-laws or parents can be great for this! Moms have really perfected this to an art-form, by the way, as have mothers-in-law (well, they are moms too, so it would stand to reason). Not married? No worries - there's always a bully somewhere close by if one only looks hard enough. Don't give up!

DO NOT leave the house, except in the case of fire or other life-threatening emergency, especially if (heaven forbid) the sun has decided to come out. This should be made easier if you've followed the first rule of not getting dressed.

Listen to sad music or watch a sad movie. Better yet, watch a show about really rich people, or someone who has things in life you will never even be able to dream of. Obviously, if you're rich and attempting to use this method, your options will be limited.

Scour the Internet aimlessly. Something about the lights and the screen just seem to kill brain cells.

Shop online! Now, it's been proven that shopping can give you a temporary mood boost, but that will only last as long as it takes for you to get that email confirming your impulse purchase! Then the guilt, and possibly fear about how you will pay for the item, will undoubtedly set in.

So if you're really intent on being an unhappy camper, some or all of these things should get you well on your way. Happy wallowing!

The Temeraire Series

I've been reading Naomi Novik's historical fantasy series for a while now and for the most part, I love it. The first book, His Majesty's Dragon introduced Laurence, a naval officer who by an odd twist becomes a dragon aviator. And the reader watches the relationship between aviator and dragon, Temeraire, develop into one of the most intense and loving partnerships I've ever seen. I already loved dragons, but Novik goes far beyond your traditional dragon story. She shows a whole culture built around this aerial corps and her attention to detail is magnificent. And Temeraire is amazingly developed - he's smart, witty, fiercely loyal to his aviator and crew - if this ever gets made into a movie, he'll have women of all ages swooning over him.

The conflict is set during the Napoleonic wars with the added bonus of dragons acting as sort of fighter planes, complete with gunners, cargo holds and full crews. The dragons are intelligent and the different breeds have special abilities. What I wouldn't give to live in this world!

The second book, Throne of Jade, takes Laurence and Temeraire on an adventure to the far east. Here the reader learns more about him and his background amidst a back drop of a very well crafted intrigue. Temeraire is a Chinese dragon, you see, and they have a very different outlook on dragons than their European counterparts. While this book slowed down considerably, it was still an exciting read. Temeraire grows in some poignant ways, while receiving a few lessons in the harshness and injustice of the world.

The third book is where I'm having some trouble. Laurence and Temeraire must get back home with a very time sensitive cargo in this third installment. The first problem is obtaining the package, the second is getting across the world through several different obstacles and delays. The delays are where the book starts to falter. There is still lots of intrigue, betrayal, vengeance, and more, but for some reason I'm finding Black Powder War less engaging and very plodding. Even the battle sequences seem to lack the same lustre as in the first two novels. I'm a bit more than halfway through, but it seems to be taking forever. Hopefully it will pick up and I'll finish it some time this year.

Fisher Price is funny

One of the reasons we chose today to go to the zoo was that Fisher Price was sponsoring a kids week there meaning that there were extra activities going on, characters, story times, crafts, etc. After we had spent a decent length of time seeing the animals, we went to check out the activity area. Fisher Price cracks me up.

It was nothing more than a toy showcase before the holiday season kicks in. It was a pretty smart ploy - let y9our kids play with our newest toys so they can harass you for them for the next four months. Honestly, though, I hope they have something else lined up for the holidays, because what we saw today was unimpressive. At one point, a gentleman whose daughter was playing with the same toy as mine was had to ask one of the attendants the age group on the toy. Why? Because none of the three parents there could figure out how to work the darned thing. When we did, it turned out to be kind of crappy.

The ironic thing is, that after the whole scandal with the Mattel recalls, most of the toys were Dora the Explorer and Diego! toys. I mean, this even must have been planned ages ago, but what good timing for them! Come buy our big headed Dora doll - it doesn't have lead. By the way, there was a life sized Dora doll that fell over because its head was indeed to heavy for its body - the woman next to me and I both thought a child had tripped in front of us - a particularly large headed child. One more thing my daughter will NOT be getting this year.

Weird mood

I'm in a very strange head space this morning. The wheels in my brain are spinning all over the place. It's like the Tasmanian Devil is running around my head. But at the same time, I feel really tired and I don't really want to do anything. Then there's the sneaking suspicion that I'm going to be depressed, like crying and wanting to crawl back into bed, at any minute. I think I can resist that if I can just find something productive to do, but I can't seem to settle into anything. I've tried doing research, job hunting, chatting via AIM, eating...jeez, I can't even figure out what I want to snack on! I thought about writing and finishing the story I'm working on, but that's not coming to me the way I need it to; I thought about starting a new short piece - a world building piece for my novel, but I can't get a clear image to start with on that either.

I just don't know what to do with myself! And right now, this is about as much as I can get together in a coherent thought pattern.

Edit: Since this morning, I've attempted to bake a loaf of bread. Unfortunately, so I've just learned, bread doesn't rise well if it's too cold. And it's pretty cold and crappy here today. And my son's laptop (which was given to us on its last leg) just died, and he's not a happy boy. Nothing is working! I'm almost afraid to attempt the laundry.

Impulse buying

I seem to have a problem, and I'm certain that I'm not alone. Whenever I'm starting to feel that we're getting squeezed financially, I have this ridiculous habit of doing the most impulse spending. It's backwards and (I think) a little insane, but I can never seem to stop myself. In the past twelve hours I've purchased an autographed photo of my favorite Harry Potter actor and a bread maker. It's not even nine o'clock yet! In my defense, the photo was my husband's idea, trying to make up for something really dumb that he did over the weekend. But I jumped all over the opportunity.

We've got a ton of expenses coming up: major dental work I have to take care of, getting the fireplace cleaned and inspected, fuel, back to school clothing and supplies, and half the expense for our patio expansion that I owe my in-laws. There's a hospital bill hanging over our heads from a procedure that my daughter had months ago...I really have no business buying a bread maker from eBay, even if it was only $25.

Every two weeks at bill paying time, I sit at the computer lamenting over how we're going to pay them, wondering where we're going to get grocery money from this time. The stress and depression continue to build and then eventually, it all boils over and I shop. I buy books, toys for the kids, food treats, organizers for all the crap that I buy that I have no space for. It's like a sickness. I end up feeling guilty and getting more depressed and the cycle starts again.

Am I the only person who does this? And if I'm not and someone has any clue how to stop, I'd love to hear it!!

High School Musical 2

We were big fans of HSM, partly because the music was fun and partly because it was something we could watch with the kids without fear of our heads exploding (or theirs, like with Cars). So when HSM2 was announced, it was a cause for excitement in our house. Gus was particularly excited because it would be the first time he was allowed to stay up late to watch a movie like a big kid. It provided a great bribery tool all week.

Unfortunately, but expectedly, it wasn't anywhere near as good as the first one. It wasn't terrible, but I don't see myself humming What Time is It? anytime soon. Unlike the first installment, HSM2 didn't hold the kids' attention and they chose to go to bed halfway through.

The movie starts off on the last day of the same school year as the first movie, but already there was one continuity break that just screamed at me. Now, whether or not it was unintentional, the principals suddenly look way more polished than they did in the original movie. They just didn't look like they'd just finished their junior year to me at all. I don't mean to say that they looked bad, although I'm not in love with Zac Efron's new hair, I just had a much harder time buying them as the age they're portraying. And this is from someone who's obsessively and religiously followed the Harry Potter franchise.

The plot was pretty uninspired, but while the first half seemed to lack any realy conflict, the movie bounced back in that area by the second half. Likewise, the music in the first half, especially the first song, seemed to be trying to recapture the best of the music from the first film, but didn't quite make it. A couple of the later numbers got a bit more creative. The song I Don't Dance had some interesting elements of swing and hip-hop; Zac Efron's solo Bet On It was very reminiscent of one of my favorite scenes in West Side Story; the duet Gotta Go My Own Way nearly moved me to tears with Vanessa Hudgens belting it out and Zac 's teary eyed harmonizing.

I will say this in praise of the movie - the actors have all grown in their craft and the performances were much improved. The supporting cast was given more to do this time around and were allowed to show a more of their talents as well.

It's a likable movie. I don't know if we'll be buying the DVD - the kids may be ambivalent about it. But if they do want it, it's still good clean entertainment appropriate for a wide age range. Not what I'd call a waste of time or money. I'd give it 3 of 5 stars.

Edit: I was just informed that Gus loved the music and is already singing the songs. He's asked for the soundtrack and the DVD, so my review is pretty much irrelevant. The kid liked it.

Go ahead and laugh

Around one o'clock this morning I was awakened to a blaring, beeping noise. I shot out of bed, head whipping around, and then I realized where it was coming from. It was the alarm on the back door. Frantic, I woke DH (which is like waking a zombie) and yelled, "The alarm!" We both raced downstairs to check the back door.

Now let me just pause here to point out that we were completely unarmed. What the HELL did we think we were going to do to an intruder in our jammies, half asleep, with our bare hands? I turned on the light at the base of the stairs and...nothing there. DH went to the back door to find it locked, and he turned off the alarm. Now we were really freaked out - what tripped the alarm? I checked the front door and it was locked as well. I should also not that I keep the proper doors AND the screen doors locked in the front and back of the house. The chances of someone getting in without being heard long before the alarm goes off are very slim.

Anyway, we searched around and...

About a week ago, Phil installed some roll-up blinds because of the curtain-breaking incident. When he did this, we realized that when fully up, the blinds lean right against the alarm. It's usually not an issue, but if the door is open, and then we slide it closed without lifting the blinds a little, the other piece of the alarm hits it. So one day I forgot, closed the door and a little piece of the alarm, which is just held on with mounting tape, came off. DOH! I was able to stick it back on, but apparently it wasn't stuck enough. The little piece fell off last night, broke the connection and tripped the alarm.

But good to know our reflexes are so sharp that we took forever spinning our wheels before finally doing the stupidest thing possible. ROFLMAO!!

Welcome!

Hello!

My name is Angie and this blog is about me and my opinions. My interest include: family and parenting, books, movies, writing, crafts, yoga and spirituality, and there are many others that may appear from time to time.

I am a full time mom and part time yoga teacher, so of course it follows that I have loads of time to spend at my computer blathering away! I hope you enjoy your visits and come back often. Enjoy!