The Liberation of My Head

Back in October I posted about having to get my hair done for a wedding. Reading back through it, I'm kind of laughing at myself. I had an almost identical experience this weekend, with a much different outcome!

I've been wanting to cut my hair for a while now - mostly out of a need for change, but also because my scalp has really been bugging me. It doesn't like being trussed up and usually responds by itching and being generally annoying. A few months ago, I had a minor meltdown and cut my dreds halfway, to about chin length. They had just gotten too heavy and I was sick of them being on my neck. It was a cute compromise and I was okay with it for a while.

Then another wedding came up, ironically, another of my husband's cousins. I made an appointment for Friday to see the loctician I finally found locally. Now, this appointment was a huge inconvenience, but I wanted to get my hair done - it was looking pretty shabby, I'll admit, and has been extra irritating because of the heat. I had told her I wanted to cut it, but she was trying to talk me out of it. Well, Friday came, I spent and extra hour of driving time (just try to calculate the gas costs on top of that!) and got there to learn that she was 45 minutes behind schedule. Now I'm not one of these prima donna types, but I did have a very small window to see her before I had to be home to get my son from the school bus. So I couldn't wait. And I couldn't reschedule for Saturday because I had to work in the morning. I was a little pissed off if for no other reason that they could call to confirm, but couldn't call to save me the trip?

Before I continue, let me just state that while I had issues relaxing my hair when I first decided to wear it natural, I'm pretty much over that. The relaxers had dried out my scalp and hair. But wearing the locs for the past almost-three years had done pretty much the same! It's sort of the same way that I stopped using antiperspirant for an all-natural deodorant and ended up having major burns under my arms from the natural product, but that's another post.

So, quite irked, I got my son, carted both kids to the beauty supply store, came home and chopped my dreds right off. I cleaned up the sides and back with the clippers I use for my son and husband, and evened out the top to make it a little longer. Then I relaxed it just a little (didn't leave the straightener in for the whole time) to soften the curls. My head feels lighter and cooler, and I look about ten years younger according to a neighbor. I feel pretty darned cute and I think I looked great for the wedding.

I don't know what I'll do with it in the next few months. I may keep it short and relaxed, or I may let it grow out. I plan to maintain it myself because I just have no patience, time or money for having to deal with days like last Friday. Is it me or do these weddings seem to have an adverse effect on me? Perhaps we should just start staying home!

Who Says I Have to Do Something With My Hair?

Almost two years ago, I decided to stop relaxing my hair and to wear it naturally. That was on Election Day of 2005. Not long after that I decided that I was ready to transition into dreadlocks. There were many reasons for these changes, but one major reason was that I felt I needed to regain some part of my cultural and ethnic identity. Other factors were a desire to stop poisoning my hair and body with chemicals, and to stop warping my mind by trying to fit the description of someone I could never be. I don't think I consciously wanted to be anyone else, but subconsciously, it's kind of ingrained in the culture: long, silky, shiny, bouncin'-and-behavin' hair was the the way.

I love my locs. They require some maintenance, but are actually easier on a day to day basis than having my hair relaxed, or even just wearing in naturally loose. I've had periods of wanting to chop them off, more out of a need for change than anything else, but they've always passed. My hair is my hair and it's awesome (to me) just the way it is.

So where did I get this crazy notion that I need to do 'something' with it tonight?
My husband and I are going to a wedding this evening - his cousin is getting married. I should point out that his family is Italian. I bought a really knock-out dress and made a lovely shrug to go with it. I've got the shoes and accessories to go with it. Then for some bizarre reason, I got this idea in my head that I needed to do 'something' with my hair.

It's not so huge a leap to make - that's what all women say when they're dressing up, isn't it? When you're 'going out' you go get your hair done. The thing is, there's not all that much to do with my hair. I go to a loctician periodically and she's done a funky thing with pipe-cleaners to set it and make it curly, but I can't do that myself. Nor do I have the money or time to go see her. I actually think my hair looks nicer without the curls. But still, I tried.

I washed it and twisted as I normally would. I even did some cute twists at the front and secured them back from my face. And then I decided to try the pipe cleaners. Call it temporary insanity. Clearly I am not my loctician. I noticed pretty quickly that it was not going to work. So then I spent a very frustrating time trying to get the pipe cleaners back out of my hair. But I didn't quite give up on the idea of 'doing' my hair.

I kept the front twists and then thought that maybe if I rolled up the back and secured it in a kind of bun, the ends might get a bit of a curl. I should really know better.

This morning, after a night with an awful headache, I undid my hair. Now it is a) still damp and b) not curled at all. Total waste of a good night's sleep.

So now my hair looks pretty much like it always does and this is not a problem in the least. It's clean and groomed and will drape nicely over my shoulders, not taking away from the real focus of my ensemble: my dress. If I do say so myself, I think I will look pretty darned good tonight. I just wish I had saved myself the headache of trying to conform to someone else's idea of 'done' and had spent a bit less time time in pain. Live and learn. I locked my hair as a way of accepting myself as I am. Sometimes I just need to be reminded that everyone else will just have to accept me as I am, too.