Karate and Dance

I’m not one of those moms who has to have their kids in everything, but I do think it’s important to let them try different things that they show an interest in. So MM has been taking dance since September and both kids recently tried karate. We’ll be looking for a new activity come summer.

I had a few reasons for putting MM in dance this year. She wasn’t going to be able to go to school as much and I wanted something for her to do that would have her around other kids. Dance was about half the cost of her preschool, and it turns out that a few of the girls from dance will be starting at the same kindergarten next year, so that worked out well. She had also expressed an interest in taking dance. She’s a very girly-girl and is very much into princesses and twirling, etc. It was only when she got into actual dance classes and discovered there was oh-no-work! involved that she cooled to that idea. This is also a good thing. Why not test the waters even if they’re not the right ones? Now she really doesn’t want to continue, but we’re committed until the end of May, after her recital. I hate having to make her do something she doesn’t want to, but they’re good lessons to learn: finish what you start and be careful of the choices you make. The last reason for enrolling her in dance was because I was hoping to help the extreme turn in of her legs, but since she’s no longer falling over her feet, I see no reason to pursue that further.

A few months ago, she started asking to try karate. Gus had also been mentioning it, so when the opportunity arose, we went for it with some trial classes. It hasn’t been a complete disaster, but it didn’t take long to see that a year commitment would be a waste. By the third lesson, MM was complaining that she didn’t want to go, and Gus was being threatened by the teacher to not be allowed in class. That was the end of that.

I found it interesting and kind of annoying that we had explained in pretty good detail what Gus’s issues are and our concerns about whether he could manage himself in the class. We made it clear that he would probably need extra help, and the school assured us that they had worked with autistic children before with wonderful success. Whatever. The look on their faces when he was running back and forth or when he started talking loudly during meditation told me that they didn’t really get it when told them what they’d be dealing with.

It will be a relief to not have to drag kids off to an activity for a while, especially with the gas prices at $3.75 today. But I’ll be back to it by July when we start swimming. Fortunately, I’ve never had to push them to do that. And maybe by fall there will be a swim class that we can fit into their schedules.

Karate Lessons

Last week my son's school had a health fair. I stopped by because the flyer had mentioned that a karate school would be there. My daughter has been asking about karate lessons for a while, and I thought they might be good for my son who has Aspergers Syndrome (autism spectrum disorder). But my concern has always bee that the schools would all turn out like that school in The Karate Kid. Silly, of course. That was just a movie.

The guy at the fair seemed nice enough and I asked lots of questions about their ability to teach a child with special needs. He said that they do have some autistic students, but at the same time, he said that they tend to ignore inappropriate behavior. The rationale is that they want to reward appropriate behavior and not give attention for misbehaving. But, anyone who has been involved with autistic kids knows that they often need a lot of redirection. So immediately I wondered if my son would be running around the room, being ignored.

I also asked if the school was geared toward competition. That's not really the environment that I want either of my children in. I want them to have fun and gain confidence, even to learn a bit of self defense ( especially my son, who is at risk to become a target for bullies as he ages) but not to become obsessive with tournaments or winning. For one thing, we can't make the financial commitment that the tournament path can often require. Heck, I'm not sure we can afford to have them both enrolled at all. I'm not sure about this because they refused to give me any fees until AFTER my kids had their trial lesson. Then when he gave me the appointment card, there was no address. I'm also not interested in having a child so focused on winning at such a young age. They have plenty of time for that later.

There was a phone number, so I called to get the address so I could get directions online. Three calls and still no one has answered the phone and after 3 days, no one has returned my call. I'm not feeling so great about this place.

I went online to see if I could find anything and I did find a website (originally I had been told there wasn't one). The information I originally wanted about pricing wasn't there, but I saw some other interesting things.

There was a student featured and also a parent featured. Both were being lauded for their intense commitment to their practice and to tournaments! One parent brings his child to lessons every day! I may be overreacting, but that doesn't sound to me like the laid-back vibe that I heard about at the fair.

I'm going to keep the appointment, mostly because I already mentioned it to my kids and if we don't go, there will be major drama. But I don't have a good feeling about it.

I've done something right

It is very gratifying for me to know that I have two kids - five and seven - who can actually appreciate and enjoy April Fools Day without getting bent out of shape at being tricked or without becoming mean in their humor. They actually got me a couple of times! I can't remember the last afternoon I spent laughing so hard.

This is in direct contrast to some other people I've seen today on other sites that can't take a joke to save their clearly miserable lives. And what's worse, not only can they not enjoy the joke, but they feel the need to ruin it for everyone else. That's just more annoying than I can even express. I've gotten tricked a fair few times today and I'm laughing at myself.

It's not about being mean in the trickery. It's about being able to laugh at ourselves and our own silliness or gullibility. It's about lightening up for a day.

Craftiness

I have a formal wedding to attend in June and I really don't want to/can't afford to buy a new dress, but all the dresses I own are a bit too snug (meaning I can't breathe in them). So I've got a long black broomstick style skirt with a very pretty silver flowery print. I just need a top to go with it. So I've decided, since I have time between now and June, to make a top. This one in fact:

Lion Brand Elegant Shell

Instead of using the organic cotton, I originally thought to use Paton's Brilliant in Black Dazzle(on my good friend Griffinitter's suggestion), but then I thought the finished product might be too scratchy. So she suggested Lion Brand's Microspun in ebony, and wow! how soft! Then we determined that the outfit needed a bit more up top to balance out my sizable hips. So I'm making a short-sleeved shrug to go with it in the same basic pattern as the shell, but with the Brilliant.

I'm quite excited because I ordered 3 balls of the Brilliant and thought I would need more for the shrug, but so far, I've gotten 7 rows out of the first ball and I'm almost sure I can get 2 more. So I might squeak through with what I've got. If I can get 27 or 28 rows, I'll have a rectangle of about 31 inches by 13 1/2 or 14 inches. That should make a nice sized, summer weight shrug. I may even get fancy and put a little silver edging on the sleeves, but we'll see how it goes. Hopefully I'll post some pics soon.

My New Zen

It's not the most up-to date MP3 player, but I just got the Creative Zen and I'm liking it immensely. I had an older generation Zen for about 2 years now and it never gave me a moment's grief, so I wanted to try upgrading. The newer Zen has a nice big screen, can handle video and pictures, along with all the other past features: FM radio, voice recording, etc.

Some cool new things: It has an organizer and alarm clock, and best of all expandable memory! With a standard SD card, you can have virtually unlimited memory. This is really nice because the software comes with Audible, so I'm pretty excited to start a new audio book library.

The controls take a bit of getting used to with this little cutie, but I was able to get the hang of basic operations without having to consult the user guide on my computer. The updated version of the Media Explorer is way easier to use than the old MediaSource. My playlists actually make sense now!

The sound is great, but I never had any complaints about the sound on my old Zen. I love the screen colors - bright enough to be very attractive, but easy on the eyes. The font is also a good size, so I'm not squinting to read what I'm doing.

Creative makes a reliable and cost efficient product. Definitely worth serious consideration.

And here's a pic of my new baby.

Video Games vs. Television

Let me start off by saying that neither is particularly good for kids in excess. That being said, I think I'd rather see my kids playing a game than staring at a television. Games can at least involve thinking and in some instances even moving (i.e. the Wii system). With television shows, even interactive kid shows like Dora the Explorer, they just sit like lumps.

I've been noticing this trend with my kids for a while now. On days when we can't get out to play (which has been most of the winter), and I have work to do at home, by the time I'm free to do things with them, they don't want to do anything. They get totally immersed in their TV shows. And mind you, they're watching semi-educational things on the Noggin channel. I literally have to wrench them away from it and make them do other things. And the most recent disturbing thing I've noticed is that my daughter suddenly seems to have forgotten how to play independently. If I turn the TV off she starts complaining about being bored and there's 'nothing to do' despite the hundreds of toys around the house. Yet, when the TV is on, she's still bored and listless.

There's a totally different phenomena when I let the kids play video games on the PC or on one of the consoles (husband's XBox or their V-Smile or their Gamecube which was just given to them for Easter). Even when they have trouble with the games, they're animated and playing cooperatively and having fun. With many of the games - the V-Smiles and PC games in particular, there's problem solving and learning happening. They've never played any of the Wii games, and I honestly refuse to spend that kind of money on a game system for 4 and 6 year olds. But possibly when they are older. Even a simple game like their new Mario Kart is helping their hand-eye coordination.

Now, I'm very picky about what they are allowed to watch or play. I avoid shows or games that are very violent, that have problematic language or behavior that I don't want my kids modelling. And when these things do come up, it is made very clear that the behaviors or language are not desirable. I mean, let's be real, our kids don't live in a vacuum and they will come across negativity. Just a couple of weeks ago when we had a warm day, I took my daughter out to play with a couple of her friends, and one of the little girls spouted about how her sister is an asshole. That's what she hears from her mother. Am I going to make my daughter avoid this little girl from now on? No. The other mom (not the potty-mouthed one) and I let all the children know that they should not repeat that word. I haven't heard it from my daughter's mouth yet. So I do know that parental involvement can mitigate what kids are exposed to.

Would my kids be better off playing ball? Absolutely. But with a high wind advisory, I don't think we're going out today. In the summer, they will have swim lessons, summer school or camp, almost daily visits to the lake, bike riding, roller skating, camping and as many activities as I can possibly squeeze in. But in the meantime, I think I'll just enjoy watching them crash cartoon cars into things. It amuses them greatly.

Steps to becoming a parent

A friend emailed this to me and I laughed so hard, I just HAD to post it! I don't know the original source, but it isn't my writing. I'm just passing it along.

How to become a parent in 15 simple steps:
Lesson 1
Go to the grocery store.
Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
Go home.
Pick up the paper.
Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their:
Methods of discipline.
Lack of patience.
Appallingly low tolerance levels.
Allowing their children to run wild.
Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding,sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it, because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3
To discover how the nights will feel...Walk around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
At 10PM, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
Set the alarm for 3AM.
As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink.
Go to bed at 2:45AM.
Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
Sing songs in the dark until 4AM.
Get up.
Make breakfast.
Keep this up for 5 years.
Look cheerful.

Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make?
To find out...Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
Then rub them on the clean walls.
Cover the stains with crayons.
How does that look?

Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6
Take an egg carton.
Using a pair of scissors and a jar of paint, turn it into an alligator.
Now take the tube from a roll of toilet paper.
Using only Scotch tape and a piece of aluminum foil, turn it into an attractive Christmas candle.
Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty packet of Cocoa Puffs.
Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.

Lesson 7
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van.
And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining.
Family cars don't look like that.
Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
Get a dime.
Stick it in the CD player.
Take a family size package of chocolate cookies.
Mash them into the back seat.
Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
There.
Perfect.

Lesson 8
Get ready to go out.
Wait outside the bathroom for half an hour.
Go out the front door.
Come in again. Go out.Come back in.Go out again.
Walk down the front path.Walk back up it.
Walk down it again.Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
Stop, inspect minutely, and ask at least 6 questions about every cigarette butt, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead insect along the way.
Retrace your steps.
Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbors come out and stare at you.
Give up and go back into the house.
You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Lesson 9
Repeat everything at least (if not more than) five times.

Lesson 10
Go to the local grocery store.
Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full- grown goat is excellent).
If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight.
Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 11
Hollow out a melon.
Make a small hole in the side.
Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
Tip half into your lap.
The other half, just throw up in the air.
You are now ready to feed a nine- month old baby.

Lesson 12
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street, Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon.
Watch nothing else on T V for at least five years.

Lesson 13
Move to the tropics.
Find or make a compost pile.
Dig down about halfway and stick your nose in it.
Do this 3-5 times a day for at least two years.

Lesson 14
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying "mommy" repeatedly.
Important:no more than a four second delay between each "mommy"; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required).
Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years.
You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 15
Start talking to an adult of your choice.
Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the "mommy" tape made from Lesson 14 above.
You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.